It's normal for our feelings about ourselves to fluctuate on occasion. But people with low self-esteem continually exaggerate the negative. Whatever they do, it isn't good enough. Everyone else is better. The person with low self-esteem will compare, find himself lacking, and focus on one poor experience as an overwhelming reason why he is a failure. This thinking can even be self-fulfilling, since the person may feel doomed before he begins and start to avoid even making an effort. To counter low self-esteem, it's vital to regain a balanced view.
Adjust Your Thinking
Make yourself aware of negative thoughts. People with low self-esteem are all-or-nothing thinkers. One mistake and they are complete losers. When these thoughts surface, stop yourself. One loss or weakness does not make the person. Focus on positives. Make a list the things you've done well, the work and hobbies you enjoy, people you like and who like you, goals you've achieved. Review this list before going to bed at night and when you're feeling down. People with low self-esteem often expect themselves to live up to very high standards. It's important to recall that no one is perfect. Not even the best ballplayer hits the ball out of the stadium every time. Finally, accept who you are. We all have strengths and weaknesses. Set goals that work for you. You can't do everything. Do what you can, and enjoy the smallest achievement.
Nurture Yourself
Reinforce your importance by treating yourself well. Do activities you enjoy on a regular basis, whether its going to a movie, having a massage, or playing tennis. Eat healthy meals, exercise, and get proper rest. Celebrate small accomplishments. Did you meet a deadline at work or help a neighbor? Treat yourself to a movie, go out for your favorite ice cream, or relax with a book you've been wanting to read. Surround yourself with people and things you enjoy and that make you feel good about yourself. Put up photos of friends and family or a special vacation. If you want to improve your mind or body, set small goals, then take them one step at a time. Do not expect to become a world-class pianist when you've just begun learning to read music; just enjoy the process.
Get Involved with Positive People
Stay active with friends who value you for yourself. Avoid negative people who lead you to feel bad. If someone criticizes you, reassure yourself that their opinion does not define you. Volunteer to help someone else. Become involved in a cause you consider worthwhile, whether it's the local library, Humane Society, children's aid group, or an elderly couple who need a ride to the grocery store.
If you feel that you could use more help than the steps above provide, see your doctor for a full physical to ensure that you don't have a health problem and are not depressed, both of which can lead to self-esteem issues. You may want to find a counselor or support group to help you along the first steps toward a more positive image.
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