Introduction
Depression is a complicated, insidious and often misdiagnosed disease. Symptoms of depression vary widely from person to person, and often include things like low energy, irritability and lack of concentration, all of which can be attributed to other ailments. Also, many people afflicted with depression refuse to seek treatment, either because they don't think there's anything really wrong or because they are skeptical of depression treatments like drugs or therapy. Unfortunately, when left untreated depression can affect all aspects of a person's life, particularly relationships.
Anti-Social Behavior
People suffering from depression often withdraw from the world around them, including their friendships and family relationships. Friends and family who don't understand depression may take offense at this withdrawal, pushing the depressed person further away. Also, depressed people often suffer from uncontrollable irritability, which may cause them to lash out at those closest to them.
Refusal of Treatment
Since many depression sufferers refuse to get treatment, their spouses are often left to deal with all of the family responsibilities, which can create a great deal of tension within a marriage. If one spouse is so depressed that he can no longer work, provide child care or contribute to the household in any way, the other spouse will undoubtedly feel the stress of doing the work of two people, and will likely come to resent her partner. Depression can also lead to a lack of interest in sex and other activities, like hobbies and sports. This is especially detrimental to a marriage, as it may eventually lead to infidelity and/or divorce.
Feelings of Responsibility
A non-depressed spouse may feel responsible for her partner's disease and incapable of helping to fix the problem, adding to her stress load. She may slip into a caretaker role, treating the depressed spouse more like a child than a partner, which is not only unhealthy for the marriage but also enabling to the depressed spouse.
Recurrence of Depression
Many people who suffer from one bout of depression are susceptible to a recurrence. These episodes can be triggered by events like job loss, a death in the family or even spousal conflict. This can make a non- feel as though they need to walk on eggshells to avoid upsetting a depression-prone spouse.
Treatment and How Family/Friends Can Help
Luckily, depression is treatable, and in most cases, manageable or curable. Family and friends of a depressed person would be wise to research the disease and try to understand what role they can play in recovery. This includes realizing that they are not at fault and that they cannot "cure" their depressed loved one on their own. They should encourage that person to seek treatment and try to help them as much as possible, while maintaining boundaries for their own sanity.
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